“During the course of a journey; on the way.”—Oxford Languages, 2021.

Hi! I know it has been a minute since my last post. What can I say? LIFE! I went back to school this summer for a second master’s degree. It has kept me pretty busy. Do not get me wrong—my brain loves the challenge. It has been simultaneously rewarding and eye-opening. This experience is quite different from the first go around. I am learning a lot of information about my career and myself.

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Healing! A huge space that never ends and takes many different directions. Here is my reoccurring question—What is toxic positivity?

“Toxic positivity is an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic.”—Medical News Today, 2021

This was something I warned myself about from the very beginning. One day, I was journaling and feeling good, but something was lingering. Something I could not quite put my finger on. At this point, it was not an abnormal feeling for me to be happy, but I wanted to make sure I was not dismissing feelings that deserved exploring. Being an empath can be exhausting. There are times when I do not want to feel anything at all. So I will push thoughts to the side. But this particular day, my body told me, we are sitting with this because it is important.

What if things are just not okay? Is that possible? What if I miss finding the silver lining? Does that make all this work I have done a waste of time? These are just a few of the questions that swirled inside my mind. Of course, the answer to every question is NO. The healing work you have done to make your mind and heart safe spaces will not expire because of one bad day or a few unaddressed emotions.

That is what toxic positivity does. It causes you to create a false sense of reality. That is why the journey of healing is so important. It is more about being proactive instead of reactive. Creating boundaries and advocating for yourself in ways that you may not have done in the past. Positivity is a beautiful thing. Please do not mistake that. However, masking emotions and experiences to maintain a sense of positivity is dangerous. It is like eating an insane amount of ice cream—KNOWING you are lactose-intolerant. 😂 Dismissing responses to the emotions we experience in life is like asking for a part of you to exit stage left. The past version of you does not have to leave. It does not die off —instead, it is always there, ever-present— keeping you safe until you reach a point of enlightenment. Give yourself grace and time. Grace to exist and time to feel. Why rush? How many times have we missed something by rushing? I know for me, when I rush, I leave something. It could be something simple like my yogurt or my sweater, but when it comes to emotional processing, if I rush—I always end up right back where I started.

The routes we take in life are ever-changing. It is important to feel. Every emotion—the good, bad, and ugly. It is all part of the journey to the authentic self. So we may run into the occasional wrong exit or u-turn—it is okay! Just keep driving, follow YOUR speed limit—everyone is different. Comparison is the thief of joy. Please don’t compare yourself to anyone. We want the routes of life to lead to positivity. That is the ultimate goal, but we cannot avoid the curves and bumps along the way. Every piece the journey is important. You are beautiful—wonderfully made. Keeping that thought at the forefront of the trip makes acceptance of yourself easier.

I want to leave you with a quote from one of my best friends. She gave me this one day when I was circling the wagons. As always, I want you to have it. 😘

“…learning new things about yourself may take time to fully understand. Just be ok with yourself. Healing & learning ain’t nowhere near linear either, that’s why gratitude is extremely important.” — Brittany Humphrey

Take Care,

—ToriB💕🌻