This is the final part of the Price Check series. I have enjoyed writing this, and it has put a lot of things into perspective for me. One of those things is position. I am somewhat of a planner. I have all these little timelines for how long something should take, how I can go about achieving the goal, and more. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how much you plan; if it’s not the position God wants you to take, your plan won’t work.
I realized that I was grieving a position, life, plan, timeline (whatever word you choose) that God never promised me. God never told me I was going to have that 2016 timeline. But I wanted it. I kicked and screamed for it, and it did not come true. Fast forward ten years, and I am glad that God had the final say. He saved me from myself with that one.
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I don’t want this post to discourage you or make you feel as if your life is not your own. We all have free will and the ability to choose just what to do with that free will.
So, after a lot of trial and error, I have decided that my position is most beautiful when I put it in God’s hands. Notice I didn’t say easy or less stressful. I said “most beautiful,” meaning it’s the greatest testament of faith when I do it God’s way.
I have had many tearful moments—frustration, sadness, and more. But the difference between now and a year ago is the fact that I don’t want to be in charge of the plans. I don’t want to be the one deciding because, I’ll be honest, I am tired. LOL. I have had a whirlwind of a year, and I just need a minute.
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I find myself stopping throughout the day, multiple times a day, either thanking God or asking Him to cover me. In the past, I did not stop throughout the day to acknowledge God or anything. I just went through the day like it was me keeping me safe, and it was not. God has kept me despite me not giving Him the time and honor He deserves.
The beauty of position, to me, means that even on the journey to the woman God has called me to be, He accounts for my mistakes, emotions, and delays I may take. There are times when I question if I did something wrong or made a bad choice, and then I stop. Because getting into that territory (in my opinion) makes God appear to be magic—as if life can magically happen for you—and that’s not true.
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There are times when several things coexist at once, and it gets overwhelming. I am sure we can all agree that in those moments, one of the many things we question is where we stand with God. What is our position in His heart?
You see, the thing that has cost me the most in life has not been the bad choices, rough seasons, shady people, or anything else. What cost me the most was my lack of surrender. Not being able to surrender to God costs.
And when I think about this series and how we started, your peace, sanity, and position all depend on your surrender. And I think that’s what I want to leave you all with.
Position is a beautiful thing, but maybe the price check here is realizing that your safest position is surrendered.
Take Care,
Tori B💕🌻
Garden of Growth 💕🌻 
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