Hello! I hope everyone has been doing great. I decided I wanted to spend my summer relaxing, and I am happy to report that I did just that! Now I’m back, and I want to check in with you. When we greet each other, we ask, “How’s it going, and what’s new?” But how often do we ask ourselves those questions?

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I spent my summer loving on myself and taking inventory of how I show myself compassion. With all the responsibilities life throws our way, it’s easy to get bogged down striving for perfection. In those moments, we can become overly critical, and that’s when we need to have compassion the most.

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” —Christopher K. Germer

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Dr. Kristin Neff gives us three elements for self-compassion—self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. She defines self-kindness as “Being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.” (Brown, 2019)

Kindness feels good! Doing something nice for someone feels right. Some studies discuss how an act of kindness can positively affect your mood. What gets in the way of showing ourselves kindness? I used to think it wasn’t necessary to say kind things out loud, but I learned that it is vital to say the words. We all need the words. Taking a moment to congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come is always essential.

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“Common humanity recognizes that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience—something we all go through rather than something that happens to “me” alone.” (Brown, 2019)

I used to think I was the only one experiencing feelings of inadequacy. It wasn’t until I stopped being ashamed of not being perfect that I realized everyone has stuff. Some stuff we discuss, some we do not. It’s all a part of life. I’m not recommending getting a bullhorn and blasting the most intimate details of you—but I do recommend telling yourself, “Everyone goes through this; I’m not alone.” Then you take a deep breath and keep pushing!

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“Mindfulness: Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Mindfulness requires that we not “over-identify” with thoughts and feelings so that we are caught up and swept away by negativity.” (Brown, 2019)

When I first started teaching, I had no idea what I was doing. I’m pretty sharp, so I picked up on the content quickly, but I noticed that the lessons weren’t sticking as I had hoped. I started observing, and I realized that my “responsibilities” were experiencing negative emotions that were hindering their ability to focus and learn. So! We started doing mindfulness activities, and I saw increased confidence, decreased squabbling, and little family forming before my eyes. 🥹

That experience made me sit back and think. If I can encourage and foster that safety for others, I MUST be able to do it for myself. So that’s what I did. I started doing things that made me happy. I read a book for fun this summer, and it was terrific. No one told me how much I would miss reading for pleasure as an adult. I took myself on mini road trips, and it felt good. I binged Crime Junkie while going for walks, and it was, let’s say—quite the adventure.😂

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I’ve cultivated a passion for compassion, and it’s the first place I run. I cannot predict the future, and I don’t want to. I want to enjoy the present, and I know it’s possible. If you wish to read the book I referenced, it’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Dr. Brené Brown. It is a ✨game changer.✨

Take Care,

ToriB💕🌻