An Ode of Forgiveness to my younger self. 💜

When I first decided to write this post, I asked myself, “Is this a diss track??” 😂 It’s NOT. However, it is time that I expressed what I’ve learned about different types of friends throughout the years.

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I’ve encountered several types, but the following is a good summary. I’m going to share the wrong types, but I will also share the GOOD types that I have in my life currently. Let’s get started! 😉

1. The Elitist— the word “elitist” means “demonstrating a superior attitude or behavior associated with an elite.”(Siri, 2022). This friend has a superiority complex. You may feel like they want you and everyone you guys meet to think they are better than you. And you’re right, they do.

2. The Fact/Word Twister—this type is a great listener. Do you know why? So they can go back and twist everything you said to fit the narrative they created of you. Everything you say with this type of friend is final. In my experience, there is very little room for growth with this type. They often take things out of context, and it becomes exhausting attempting to express your truth.

3. The Liar—no fancy name for this one. It’s pretty simple and self-explanatory. This. Type. Lies. A. LOT. To keep you fighting for your name, dignity, peace, and often—life, this type of friend will stop at nothing to make a story up. A cousin to the elitist, the liar has the same superiority complex, and when they are in charge of telling the story, I can assure you that the whole truth is not there.

4. The Gaslighter—trust me when I say DANGER. This type of friend is nefarious and, based on my experience, the worst kind. They interpret your feelings for you and will not stop until you are confused, angry, and tired from trying to decipher where it all went wrong. There would be no need for an enemy with this type around. They tend to downplay everything—your feelings, accomplishments, boundaries, all of it. Just run, okay?

5. The Crusher—not to be confused with a lover boy or girl. This type crushes dreams, aspirations, and anything you feel is positive. You may be thinking of that one friend with that you don’t share the good news. The one you tell about the accomplishment once it’s complete. This type of friend is horrible for your self-esteem. There’s no confidence or support for you. In my experience, you spend most of your time defending yourself and your choices to this person.

Now that we covered the worst let’s take a look at the good!

1. The Cheerleader—this friend is like full-coverage car insurance—the best. 😂 Seriously, cheer is a sport, and it takes a lot of practice, flexibility, pivoting, and just a good perspective and attitude. This type of friend wants to see you win. They will support you no matter what, and they won’t shy away even when you’re not at your best. They support all your attempts at “getting it right.” Now, don’t confuse this cheerleader as someone who only focuses on the positive—this type of friend is there for it all.

2. The Bodyguard—you know Julius, right? Beyoncé’s bodyguard? Okay, this friend runs laps around him! The friend that’s ready for whatever, whenever, whoever. This type is fully invested in your well-being and will help you in any way they can. Selfless is the best way to describe this friend. The kind of friend you can grow with. You learn them, they learn you, and together—you run the world. 😁

3. The Builder—not Bob. CLOSE, but no. This type of friend builds you up not just in private conversations but in public. Your name is safe with this person. No matter how the picture of you was painted, the builder has the tools necessary to correct the mistake. This type of friend took the time to get to know you for themselves, and that’s genuinely all anyone can ask for in a friend.

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Going through the motions with the wrong type of friends caused me to look at myself and ask if I was the correct type. See, you have to embody what you want. You have to possess the traits that you desire in a friend. You want the image in the mirror to be a reflection that makes you smile. I will also tell you this; people can change. If a person desires to do the heart work, change can be achieved. It’s up to you to decide how you want to navigate that space.

Life has blessed me with a colorful journey. I’ve encountered several different people, and I’ve learned something each time. I have to shout out to my family—Brittany, Catherine, Kenisha, Krystal, Jason & Jeremy. They have been boots on the ground, cheerleaders, bodyguards, & builders, and I am thankful. I tell them that I love them often, but I will say it here. I LOVE YOU, and I thank God for you. 💜

I have forgiven my younger self for accepting the wrong type of friends; it was a learning experience. Now that I know better, I make better choices. I hope you guys have a fantastic week!

Take Care,

ToriB 💕🌻