I love this time of the year because it’s so close to Fall—which I love, but mainly because my Mama Frankie’s birthday is September 15th. We would get together and have parties for her and she absolutely loved it. I’m excited for her birthday this year. I’ve decided that I’m going to celebrate her life and be thankful for her transition. I would definitely be lying if I didn’t tell you how much I’d give to watch her pack her purse with birthday cards. 😂 All these wonderful memories she left me—I’ll forever smile throughout the month of September. 💜

Let’s dive in…🪴

“Companion planting as a method of gardening that uses the cooperation of plants to achieve optimal health and vitality. Plants that cooperate well with each other protect the other from pests and enhance the other’s growth.” (Florgeous.com, 2021)

While researching for this post, I found a list of plants that grow well together. A few examples are marigolds and lavender; daisies and petunias; even geraniums and roses. It reminds me of a post I was given when I first started teaching. It was about finding your marigolds and how important it is to plant yourself with people who are intentionally doing the work. This analogy coming full circle makes my heart happy.

What can I plant together? 💭

As always, I’m so glad you asked. 😂 There are three plant pairs I want to discuss. First, authenticity with truth; vulnerability with love; and self-reflection with grace.

Authenticity and Truth 😇

I mentioned the authentic self in my writing and I would like to explain what it means. I simply mean being me. No titles, no accolades, just Tori. The one my Granny knew, the one my parents know—the one I smile at every morning. In order to get to her, I had to open my mind and heart to the truth. The truth is, life just has a way of happening. Not every experience is negative, it’s just without proper planting, focusing on the negative seems to be easier. Those moments of negativity illicit a retreat response and can make it challenging to get to the authentic self. But when you pair authenticity with truth—when you take the time to look objectively at your life, it’s in that moment where authenticity and truth begin to bloom. You can’t be you without being truthful. I learned it’s just that cut and dry. Attempting to mask parts of yourself or turn parts of yourself off hinders growth.

Vulnerability and Love ❤️

Before I start with vulnerability, I need to address sensitivity. One of the first things I told myself when I started my journey was to embrace my sensitivity. For years, I was told I was too sensitive and it was said in such a negative connotation that I thought being sensitive was a bad thing. I would try to hide it, but ultimately the build up would lead me to lash out or shut down. After years of those two extremes, I decided to embrace myself and reclaim the word. I am sensitive and it’s probably what I love the most about myself. My ability to feel is what makes me Tori.🙂

It wasn’t easy, rewriting this pathway. Dispelling the insecurities and saying “You are allowed to feel and process those feelings. You are allowed to figure it out.” After reclaiming my word, I was ready to spend some time with vulnerability.

The definitions for vulnerability mention being weak or open to harm. Definitely not what we’re looking for in the garden, right? But here’s the thing, we are open to harm. One thing we do to “keep out of harm’s way” is set boundaries. It’s the small things we do to keep from getting our hopes too high or getting our feelings hurt. Finding your balance is where vulnerability and love bloom.

I owe myself the best version of me. If I can’t be comfortable with my emotions then how can I be actively present in my life? Vulnerability is not a bad thing. It’s actually a beautiful thing when it’s allowed to grow with love. Being in love with yourself throughout each stage of life will not only allow you to be happy, but it also opens the door for you to be you—loving, authentic, truthful, and vulnerable.

Self-reflection and Grace 🕊

I LOVE journaling! It’s absolutely been a saving grace. But over the past year, it’s been a safe space for my self-reflection. Here’s the thing about reflecting, if you’re not careful—if you do not have any protections (boundaries) in place, it can send you into a spiral of second guessing. Don’t do that. Circling the past does no good and it’ll send you in the wrong direction.

The past is just that—the past. Think of it like this. You had to make it to a new day. Every decision might not of been the best, but it kept you here. That’s the most important thing to remember. You are here. Living life, learning, loving, and growing into the beautiful soul you were always meant to be. Grace—that’s what gets us here. That’s what gets us to forgive ourselves and others.

I am currently counting down to 30 and I have to tell you, this is the most excited I’ve ever been for my birthday. The work I’ve done. The love I’ve given to myself has given me so much hope for my future that I cry tears of happiness every time I reflect over my life. It’s no longer a cringe fest when old memories pop up in my mind. It’s a laugh and a thank you to the Lord for his grace and mercy.

Moving forward…💕🪴

Those are a few of the companion plants I’m growing. Every day I’m happily pruning—basking in my present and ecstatically preparing for my future, all while being humbly thankful for my past. I truly hope this finds you well and that your kind soul grows something beautiful!

Take Care,

-ToriB 💕🌻